The pain of Grief

It hurts so much you can’t even imagine feeling normal again. One minute you think you have it together, the next your bawling your eyes out.

Loss is loss, whether it’s a human loss or a beloved pet, the feeling of emptiness they leave behind never goes away completely. It’s like a piece of your soul is forever damaged because you’ll never see them again in this life.

I just lost my cat, Jack. He was fifteen and lived a full and quirky life. He made me laugh with his odd personality traits and his adorable meow. I miss him so much, I still can’t believe that he’s gone. I keep waiting for him to come up and get his daily scratchies while I watch television. It’s been a few days, so the pain comes in waves. It’ll get better over time. It always does with death.

But I hate it.

I hate that death has to exist in life.

It’s probably why most of the fiction I write involves immortal characters. In my first book series, I created a world where scientists invent a little pill called Age-pro, which makes you live forever. As farfetched as it sounds, it’s actually not that far off. More money is spent on anti-aging research than most research for diseases! It’s an 80 billion dollar industry. People’s obsession with being young forever could ultimately lead to living forever.

I, selfishly, want this to happen. Not because I want to look young, but because I don’t want to lose anyone ever again. Death shouldn’t exist. We should never have to lose anyone we love. Because when we do lose our loved ones, we’re left with giant-sized holes in our chest that will never quite heal.

If there is an afterlife, I want it to be pulled back down to earth so we can all be together again, in this lifetime.

It just hurts.