I wish this were an adventure to THE DOCTOR, as in Doctor Who, but no, this was my nightmare journey to my doctor for blood tests. (My doctor is pretty bad a$$ though, in another dimension he probably IS Doctor Who!)
The morning started out perfectly. I woke up early so I could leave at an hour before the appointment time. I hate being late and an hour would give me plenty of time to traverse Los Angeles traffic and make it on time.
Even though my doctor’s office is only ten miles away, this trip took me an hour and twenty minutes. So, yes, I was twenty minutes late, which for people who know me is a nightmare unto itself.
But let’s start at the beginning.
I was already in a slightly grumpy mood considering I had to fast for these blood tests, so I filled up my water bottle, fed my cats and got into my car an hour early (as stated above).
So, I’m driving, using Waze to avoid any unnecessary traffic (ha, ha) when…
A fire truck needs to pass. Okay. No problem. I pull over, as does everybody else. BUT… another one, then another, then, yes, you guessed it ANOTHER fire truck whizzed by. I hoped everyone and the building they were racing to was okay and pulled onto the freeway.
Sigalert! (For those of you that don’t know what this is it’s when the cops stop everyone on the freeway for an unknown amount of time.) Thanks, Waze, thanks. Way to give me a heads up.
I’m sitting in the parking lot that is the freeway and my eye catches a flashing light. I’m almost out of gas. In a sigalert. On the freeway.
I can’t even move over, we’re literally stopped dead. I wished and prayed I wouldn’t run out of gas while I was sitting there. Imagine how happy the LA drivers behind me would be if when the sigalert was lifted, they STILL couldn’t move. Not very happy. Kind of like I was in that very moment.
Finally, the sigalert ended and I was able to get off the freeway and get some gas. I quickly called the doctor’s office (at this point it was already appointment time!) and told them my situation and that I’d be there soon. They were very understanding (like I said, I seriously have the best doctor ever) and told me to be safe and that they’d see me soon.
After that hiccup, I actually made it to the office in less than twenty minutes, which was not great, but good enough. I was starving at this point and I went to grab my Cliff bar that I had promised myself I wouldn’t forget only to find that I had completely forgotten it. So, basically, after taking blood, I’d have nothing to eat and it was already getting close to noon. (I hadn’t eaten since 5PM the day before!) I was feeling a little dizzy to say the least and I hadn’t even had any blood taken from me!
I hurried down the stairs of the parking garage completely ignoring what floor I was on. (They mark the floors as different kinds of food, and when you’re starving the last thing you want to see is a giant picture of food!)
As soon as I arrived in the office, they ushered me back into a room where I had to wait for my doctor. I decided to fiddle on my phone while waiting. When I turned on my phone there were three missed calls and my Ring (a video camera attached to our doorbell that allows you to see who’s at your front door and talk to them) was going off and there were two cops at my door.
Apparently, my adorably naughty cat, Snake Plissken (it’s probably our fault for naming him that) set off the sensor alarm inside our house. I tried talking to the cops to let them know that everything was okay, but, of course, there was no signal in my doctor’s office so they couldn’t hear a word I said.
I tried calling and texting my husband, but he was at a work breakfast and his phone was turned off.
So, yeah, awesome.
Taking blood was the easy part and my amazing doctor gave me a power bar to eat afterwards (remember when I told you how awesome he was? Yeah, he’s really the best).
I left the office, called my husband and found out that he had taken care of everything. The cops were cool and my husband disabled the sensor that Snake set off.
Walking to the parking garage, I figured out I was on floor Grape, drove home without mishap!
I really wasn’t expecting my doctor’s visit to be such an event, but that’s how life goes sometimes. I’m just glad I’m home! Now, to eat!
I'm a writer of YA fiction, fiction, comics, television and movies. I try to make all my stories full of jumbly goodness :-)